Father's Day

I was asked to speak at church on Father's Day. This is the prepared portion of what I said:

Fatherhood
By Chris Laurence June 15, 2008

Next time you wait in the chapel at the Logan Temple, you might notice a painting on the wall of Joseph leading his wife Mary on a donkey. She is pregnant with her son Jesus. What kind of man was Joseph, that God the Father chose him to be the earthly trainer and mentor for the Savior of the world?

We have been taught that a child gains his first view and understanding of the nature of God from his or her interactions with parents. Specifically, father.

Among His duties, Jesus came into the world as an example of His Father. (Jeffrey R. Holland, November 2003). In many ways, we are a reflection of our own parents, and our children are a reflection of us. When a couple is sealed in the temple, they stand and look in the mirrors which echo images of the couple as far as the eye can see. A partial manifestation of that vision is through our children.

This coming Thursday would have marked my brother’s twenty-sixth birthday. His name was Bruce James, and he had Downs Syndrome. It fell to my dad to show the bigger picture, maintain calm, and show the way forward. In retrospect, simply maintaining calm was probably his greatest moment. Then, less than two years later, taking a sick baby to be diagnosed with leukemia, without any reasonable way to save him, through blessings and prayers, it was clear that chemotherapy would simply be torture. We watched him fade quickly. I finally got my train set running, drawing one last smile out of my brother as we watched the trains together. We had been made aware to some degree of his stature in the Kingdom of God throughout his short life. Thus, when he left us, we knew why. My dad had a set of small scriptures with black covers from his mission. He placed those scriptures in B.J.’s coffin at the funeral in Albuquerque. Because we had no ties to Albuquerque, and though we children viewed ourselves as Californians, when it came to finding B.J. a place to rest his head, Richmond, Utah was the logical resting place, among his forefathers. Cache Valley, to me, will forever be associated with that event.

We later held a garage sale in preparation for a move back to California. I set my trains out for sale. While I was gone, a father came by, with his disabled son. He was out looking for something he could do with his son. My parents sold him all of the trains for a few dollars. After they told me the scenario, I agreed it was the right thing to do. We wonder if maybe he was one of my brother’s friends.

The movie Meet the Robinsons is about an orphan boy who cannot find a family, because he is interested in science. The turning point in his life is when he says, “Forget about the past and keep moving forward.” He discovers that the family he would most love to join is the one, in large part, he later creates. No matter where you come from, who you are, what kind of family life you were raised in, or what you have been through, when you are a parent, your home is your home. Through the gospel of Jesus Christ, you can jettison any baggage you brought with you, but shouldn’t have.

Sometimes, your children do not do what you’d like them to do. Joseph was seventeen years old.

Gen. 37: 2-3, 5, 13, 17, 23, 28-29, 31, 33
3 Now Israel loved aJoseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a bcoat of many ccolours.
• • •
13 And Israel said unto Joseph, Do not thy brethren feed the flock in Shechem? come, and I will send thee unto them. And he said to him, Here am I.
• • •
17 And the man said, They are departed hence; for I heard them say, Let us go to Dothan. And Joseph went after his brethren, and found them in Dothan.
• • •
23 ¶ And it came to pass, when Joseph was come unto his brethren, that they stript Joseph out of his acoat, his coat of many colours that was on him;
• • •
28 Then there passed by Midianites merchantmen; and they drew and lifted up Joseph out of the pit, and sold Joseph to the aIshmeelites for twenty pieces of silver: and they brought Joseph into Egypt.
29 ¶ And Reuben returned unto the pit; and, behold, Joseph was not in the pit; and he rent his clothes.
• • •
31 And they took Joseph’s coat, and killed a kid of the goats, and dipped the coat in the blood;
• • •
33 And he knew it, and said, It is my son’s acoat; an evil beast hath devoured him; Joseph is without doubt brent in pieces.
Gen. 45: 1, 3-4, 9, 16-17, 21, 26-28
1 Then Joseph could not arefrain himself before all them that stood by him; and he bcried, Cause every man to go out from me. And there stood no man with him, while Joseph made himself known unto his brethren.
• • •
3 And Joseph said unto his brethren, I am aJoseph; doth my father yet live? And his brethren could not answer him; for they were btroubled at his presence.
4 And Joseph said unto his brethren, Come near to me, I pray you. And they came near. And he said, I am aJoseph your brother, whom ye sold into Egypt.
• • •
9 Haste ye, and go up to my father, and say unto him, Thus saith thy son Joseph, God hath made me lord of all Egypt: come down unto me, tarry not:
• • •
16 ¶ And the fame thereof was heard in Pharaoh’s house, saying, Joseph’s brethren are come: and it apleased Pharaoh well, and his servants.
17 And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, Say unto thy brethren, This do ye; lade your beasts, and go, get you unto the land of Canaan;
• • •
21 And the children of Israel did so: and Joseph gave them wagons, according to the commandment of Pharaoh, and gave them provision for the way.
• • •
26 And told him, saying, Joseph is yet alive, and he is agovernor over all the land of Egypt. And Jacob’s heart fainted, for he believed them not.
27 And they told him all the words of Joseph, which he had said unto them: and when he saw the awagons which Joseph had sent to carry him, the spirit of Jacob their father brevived:
28 And Israel said, It is enough; Joseph my son is yet alive: I will go and see him before I die.

Another Joseph was called to be the prophet of the Restoration. His father was also named Joseph. His father was called as the first patriarch in the latter days. The movie about Joseph Smith showing at Temple Square, I feel, captures the Smith family relationships, their love for their brother Alvin who died, their respect for their father, and the missing ingredient that was later added, the Restoration.

We sometimes talk about the restoration of the truth. But we also acknowledge that there is a substantial amount of truth in other religions and churches. The restoration of the truth is important. But, also, “we believe that [God] will yet breveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.” (Article of Faith 9). More significant than the restoration of truth is the restoration of authority. The authority to act in the name of God is the most important singular part of the restoration. It is the ingredient missing from the Smiths life that is later added, as shown in the Temple Square movie. It is the wellspring from which Joseph restored valuable truths. It is the source of the blessings of the temple that bind us to our fathers forever.

The authority to act in the name of God is what renders other churches impotent. It is the ability of a righteous father, holding the priesthood, to call down the power of heaven on behalf of a sick family member that is unique. A peculiar people is a treasured people, not an odd people. Giving a family that source of power is indeed a treasure.

I know that, after high school, a lot of young men don’t want to fulfill their obligations to the Lord by serving a mission. However, if you were given Excalibur, would you slide it under your bed and ignore it, or would you take it out and learn how to wield it in righteousness? It is a gross form of laziness that overcomes young men at age nineteen, and it is from the devil. Overcome it and talk to the bishop about serving a mission. The members of the ward can help you pay for it if needed.

Our society devalues fatherhood along with motherhood. A comedian said that his wife wants him to start running. He said, you want me to run, get pregnant. That was supposed to be funny, but it isn’t. As an estate planning lawyer, I have seen clients without children plan for their own deaths without an heir to receive their money. They have only friends to rely upon to serve as executor or trustee of their estate. Their money dispersed to charities, they are forgotten, except in the cases where they became a beloved aunt, uncle, or friend. Those who become a valued part of others’ lives captured the essence of parenthood, to give of yourself, and to matter to someone younger than you. To be a mentor to the next generation. To carry civilization forward. Those that do not understand this merely pass through this world, partaking of it, but contributing little. A while ago, I volunteered to help women obtain protective orders. An unfortunate number of fathers were unaware of the impact their behavior was having on their children. Part of what inspired me to become a lawyer was President Howard W. Hunter. I thought he was a great example of what a man ought to be. Kindly, and manly. Regarding marriage, he has said, “

“A man should always speak to his wife lovingly and kindly, treating her with the utmost respect. Marriage is like a tender flower, brethren, and must be nourished constantly with expressions of love and affection.”

As fathers, President Hunter said, “Earn the respect and confidence of your children through your loving relationship with them. A righteous father protects his children with his time and presence in their social, educational, and spiritual activities and responsibilities. Tender expressions of love and affection toward children are as much the responsibility of the father as the mother. Tell your children you love them.” End quote. (October 1994 Priesthood Session)

Through four children and four c-sections, I have learned that fathers are capable of quite a bit with regard to the caring and rearing of children. I can do it all. I am so grateful as my wife heals and I don’t have to do it all. U2 has a song that says, “Freedom has a scent. Like the top of a newborn baby’s head.” I made sure to smell my newborn son’s head.

It’s true!

In the last days, as much as we need good mothers, we need good fathers. In the book of Revelation, 144,000 high priests are mentioned doing some great work. What kind of men do you imagine those high priests to be? When a father is a good exemplar, fulfilling that priesthood duty to the best of his abilities, he is fulfilling the measure of his existence. It’s a lot of responsibility, but it’s worth the effort.